peacemaking in action

We have studied peacemaking for several years, taking classes and being trained as mediators. It seems simple to make peace when it is other people's conflict. But when it is your own conflict, it is a different story:) One of my language learners we will call Martha needed a second language helper, so I found a university student and took her over to meet Martha. Unfortunately, there was a language lesson going on already at the house and the first language helper we will call Ayse was not happy about bringing in a new gal to help out. "What did we need her for? Am I not good enough?" She did not voice these thoughts but her body language spoke volumes. So from then on, Ayse gave me the cold shoulder and practiced what we call küsmek in Turkish, which means not speaking to another person. I tried to get her attention by smiling or talking to her, but to no avail. So one time when I knew she would be having a lesson with Martha, I popped in to talk to her. I practiced my peacemaking principles of a good apology after she explained that culturally I should not have done what I did. We hugged and "made up", but she continued to be cold toward me. Then at a ladies retreat, she came over to me, and gave me a real hug and told me how special I was. It was then that I knew the Spirit had done His work in her heart and she had truly forgiven me. It was a testimony to those around us of living in unity and an answer to Martha's prayers! I am learning to "live at peace with everyone, as far as it depends on me." (Rom 12:18)

Art Class discussions

I go to an art class every Monday. It is a porcelain painting class where we learn to paint old Ottoman designs on pottery shaped into plates, bowls and vases. Right now I am working on a six tile design that Brad will make into an end table. At these classes there are about 10 of us ladies painting away while we sip tea and of course do what women do best, talk! We chat about all areas of our lives: politics, kids, husbands, husbands to be, in-laws, neighbors, religion, etc. I pray every monday morning that God will give me a chance to share my faith with these ladies. I have had several opportunities as some of these ladies have children who are married to "Christians". I invited them all to our Christmas program and two showed up. I have talked about what we believe and how we differ from Catholics and Orthodox. So now that Easter is approaching, I prayed for an opportunity to share about the cross and resurrection. It seemed like the conversation was dwindling and so before I left, I mentioned that I would not be coming next week due to our religious holiday. Everyone perked up...what holiday is that? So I began to explain that it is when Jesus died on a Friday and rose from the dead on a Sunday. What? rose from the dead? Do you believe that? It was first time some of these ladies, who are quite modern and well read, had heard that story. It reminded me again of the awesome privilege we have of being in this country and sharing with most people for the very first time!

In embracing lies rest

One of my favorite poems is one of Amy Carmichael called In Acceptance Lieth Peace. I have been contemplating accepting God's will for my life and becoming content in that good, pleasing and perfect will of God (Rom 12:2) I see that the example of our Lord's "unflappable" life in the Gospels was a result of His knowing the will of God and accepting it. He wrestled with God His Father in the garden about the cup of suffering that was inevitable, since it has been planned since before the foundation of the world. But once he accepted it, he learned to embrace it. (john 18:11 "Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?") I too am learning not only to know the will of God for me, not only to accept it, not only to become content in it, but to actually embrace it as from the hands of a loving, good, sovereign Father. As a weaned child can sit in her mother's lap without wrestling in want of more, i am learning to sit in my Father's lap calmly, and be at rest. Instead of trying to figure out things that i don't or that i cannot know, i will be still and in humility accept his plan for me.

(Psalm 131)
My heart is not proud, O LORD,
My eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

Another year of living in ankara, living separately from brad for much of the time, of waiting on the Lord to build the Cleft, another year of enjoying Melissa, of ministering to people here...these are all part of His plan. May it be a year of embracing and rest.

self-confidence vs. pride

i have been pondering much lately on the worldly definition of self-confidence vs the biblical definition of pride. Before i would not have equated the two. I would have said that you can be self-confident, a good quality to have and instill in your children, without being proud. But now i believe that cannot be the case. Paul says in Philippians 3:3 that he puts no confidence in the flesh. My confidence should only come from Him. So what does that look like, this God-confidence? I sometimes can't tell the difference between striving in my own strength and laboring according to the power that works within me (Col 1:29). When am i operating on my own strength and thus having self-confidence, and when am i working with His power? I am learning that it comes down to dependence. Just as the branch is totally dependent on the vine for any source of strength or life (John 15), so i must be dependent on him for even my daily breath. I know i can do nothing without him, but do i act like it? or do i go about my day without a thought of how much i need him? am i desperately and hopelessly dependent on him? it is a paradigm shift of thought and attitude for me. we are taught to be self-sufficient not needing anyone else; that transfers to our Lord as well. So he is teaching me that my self-confidence is nothing more than pride. After all, all my abilities, my gifts, my language, all that make me who I am, are from the Father of lights who gives every good and perfect gift (James 1:17). so without Him, i a really nothing anyway. Pride is so deceitful to think that we are something when we are not. So i am learning to root out this sin of pride that rears its ugly head in the form of justified self-confidence and clothe myself with humility,which i am learning from my fellow Yoke-bearer, who is gentle and humble in heart. (Matt 11:28-30)

Not a lighter!

Our guard who lives up on site in Bolu was looking for a lighter. As he searched in the drawers in the office, he came across what looked like a lighter. so he pulled the lever and it sprayed. Soon he was one the phone with Brad in a panic! "My wife and I are dying, I think we need to go to the hospital!! I think we have been poisoned; we can't breathe!" After Brad calmed him down and asked him the details of what happened, he realized that what the guard grabbed for was not indeed a lighter but bear mace!